delving the why
by zacharymark9
Summary: when merlin finally returns after months out in the forest he discovers a certain someone who has returned to rule Camelot. on merlins return a certain flame ignites and camelot will never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a few months since it happened. Since Arthur's … well… death, since the battle of Camlin. Merlin had been walking for months with no real was only when he realized he had run out of food that he first opened a map. Trying to follow his tracks of where he had been, he slowly found his position. This surprised him as without noticing he had made his way from the lake of Avalon to the tavern but simply a few miles from the center of Camelot.

Without thinking he walked in to the tavern and bought a pint of mead. Then he saw it. Nailed to the notice board, was a sheet of paper. It said 'missing'. Merlin ran his eyes down the page. He gasped. His face was drawn on the sheet. There was something else though that added to his shock. 'Reward: 100 gold pieces' he continued to read hiding his face, fearing the worst. He was relieved as he read. Bring this man to the citadel as he is to be awarded for his actions in battle. Quickly he left. Paying for his mead on the way out. In a brisk walk he flung the stable door open. He leapt onto his strong black horse and galloped away. Straight to wards Camelot.

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Before merlin knew it, he was riding through the gates of Camelot. "reveal yourself?" one guard requested. Merlin tried to remember how long it had been since he had last seen the red and gold shirts on the guard's chests.

"I am merlin." He said in reply.

"prove it."

With that merlin lifted his hood and within an instant he was through the gates standing in the familiar courtyard. He looked around in awe at the citadel that surrounded him. Merlin remembered his shock when he heard that it was built with magic in a matter of hours. he wondered how Gwen was.

Suddenly his train of thought was interrupted by a familiar voice. "Merlin!" sir Leon said. It took merlin a moment to remember who it was. But when he did he turned to see a stunned sir Leon standing behind him. 'Do my eyes deceive me?" Leon 's voice was like that of a small child in a candy shop yet he had the body of a 25 year old, strong brave, knight. To Merlin's anticipation this tone passed and he heard the normal Leon again.

"Come merlin we must see the queen."

With the guiding hand of sir Leon he was walked through the maze of corridors that lead to the royal chambers. Merlin was amazed that he hadn't been lost in this place when he first arrived all those years ago. But before he had time to remember Arthur. He stood outside two thick oak doors. Before he could think he flung them open. Gwen turned almost distraught by tis intrusion. Then her anger turned to shock as she saw merlin and she said "you never changed did you." Merlin knew straight away what she was talking about. He lacked the ability to knock.

Then a large shadow moved from behind the curtain. When the figure walked out from behind the curtain merlin saw his face then...


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin opened his eyes. He sat up in stark relief. It was a dream, or was it. He looked around. He was in the royal sleeping chambers. He didn't believe it. It was… no I passed out. I must have hallucinated. Then he saw him again. "Merlin," he said, "Merlin, its Arthur."

Merlin was shocked. He didn't believe what he was seeing. "Arthur, how did get here."

" Well after you pushed me out and set me on fire for my funeral. I was taken into the very heart of Avalon into the depths of the lake. There I met Freya. She told me everything I needed to know about what would happen. She told me how you burned her here to save her. She also told me about how you did the same thing to me so that when the time comes I can come back to the world and rule again."

"So why did you come back."

"Well, when I said that I still hadn't fulfilled my destiny, as to lift the ban on magic. She told me to leave and to walk into the lake when I am on my death bed."

"Right." merlin said, "I assume Morgana is still dead."

"Yes."

Then everything went black.

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It was late in the day when Merlin awoke. Gwen was sitting next to him. "Gwen, what did the sign mean by 'awarded for actions in battle'. "?

"What do you mean?" she replied.

"On the sign in the tavern."

"Oh yes, I think you should ask Arthur."

"Can you get Gaius?"

"Certainly." With that Gwen walked from the room leaving merlin to lay and wait until she returned.

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It was many minutes before she returned. Gaius followed her through the oak door and gave a sigh of relief.

"Merlin?" he said, "are you okay."

"Yes" he replied, "I just passed out at the sight of Arthur"

"You weren't the only one...-"

"Yes, I did to when I saw him." Gwen interrupted.

Gaius looked at her, shocked by this gesture.

"The feast will begin soon. Would you care to join us merlin." Gwen continued.

"Yes, my lady." He said, "There's no rest for the wicked. I'll get straight back to work."

"No merlin, not as a servant but as a guest."

Merlin looked at her confused. He had never sat at a feast and actually eaten. It was strange for him.

"Yes my lady."

"I'll fetch you some suitable clothes."

"That's not necessary." Merlin said. He didn't feel it proper to have the queen get him clothes.

"I do admire your humility, but you can't feast looking like that."

"Oh. Thank you Gwenivere." With that the graceful queen exited through the doors and turned left down the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin sat on his bed back in Gaius's chambers when there was a knock on the door. Merlin stood and walked slowly over and opened it. Arthur stood at the door waiting with the clothes in his hand. Arthur handed him the pile of clothes.

"There are two outfits here. Where the one on the top." Arthur said in a slow soothing tone.

"Why didn't you ask a servant to do this?" Merlin asked in curiosity.

"I did and he's right here." Arthur said with a mischievous grin, "here's your new servant merlin, his name is Thomas."

Merlin stepped back in shock. "Are you firing me?"  
"No, you've been promoted."

"What."

"You've been promoted to the rank of court warlock."

"I don't understand."

"Tonight you will be officially promoted and Knighted as sir Merlin court warlock."

Merlin looked down at the clothes. There was a soft cotton shirt and pants and a soft velvet cloak. Then on the bottom there was a chainmail vest and a long red cloak. H looked up expecting to see Arthur, but instead his small servant Thomas looked up at him urgent to help him. Merlin was an absolute awe at the idea. Not even Gwaine had a servant. As he thought the boy took the clothes and walked into the Merlin's sleeping chambers. Thomas looked at Merlin and said, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Merlin was silent like a stunned mullet. "No, you can go."

"Thank you sir."

Merlin walked into his sleeping chambers and dressed himself. His shirt was beautiful it had the dragon of Camelot embroidered into the chest. The pants fit perfectly on his slim legs. He had never worn clothes of such quality. He had never seen clothes of such quality except on the king, and even that was a rare occasion. He was honored. Although, that servant was strange in his manor, it was something about the way he looked at merlin. Almost like I was a king.

Merlin waited for Thomas to return before the feast. When he did merlin was dressed, his bed was made and his bed made. Thomas said "did you leave me anything to do sir."

"Thomas I did all your job as to give me a chance to get to know you," merlin said siting down on the bed signaling for Thomas to join him. "so, do you know how I met Arthur?"

"No sir, I don't."

"I was his servant."

"I had daggers thrown at me, hit with a mace when holding a shield. But in the end we became best friends."

"So I wish to talk to you as a friend not a servant, and I want you to do the same."

"Okay." Thomas was a little confused at first but when he came to understand he smiled.

Thomas was reluctant to leave until merlin intervened. "You can go Thomas, I shall see you at the feast."

"Thank you sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin sat at the table next to Arthur. On the other side of Arthur sat Gwen. The feast louder than merlin remembered. Although it had been a long time since merlin had been at one and it had been a long day.

Merlin turned to Arthur and was about to excuse himself as to retire to his chambers. Merlin's thought was interrupted when Arthur stood and said, "I have an announcement." The crowd went silent. "I have officially lifted the ban on magic and I now appoint merlin who was my man servant to my adviser and court warlock."

The crowd was dead silent and then Gwaine broke the silence with a relieved "finally." At this the crowd roared and clapped with excitement.

"Merlin, take a knee." Reluctantly merlin stood slowly resting his knee to the ground. "Merlin of Ealdor I dub the sir merlin Knight of Camelot and court warlock." Arthur said this as if he knew he should have done this months ago.

When Arthur had finished he had been congratulated from about every person in the room he walk, exhausted, to his chambers when he arrived Thomas stood there with his hands behind his back.  
"Thomas, go home and get some rest." Merlin was tired and couldn't deal with the young eager boy at this time.

"surely there is something I can do for you, "Thomas said in reply almost refusing to leave.

"yes, go home and rest so you're bright and new again tomorrow. It's going to be a big day."

The boy's head dropped as he left Merlin's chambers. Merlin was amazed at how eager this boy was to work and do jobs for him. Merlin thought of all the things he wouldn't have to do anymore. He laid out his chain mail and got prepared for the next day. When he had finished his preparations her turned to his bead and with a flash of fiery eye's his bed grew into a lushes double bed with a beautiful velvet cover. He lay down and within seconds he fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE**: **I would really appreciate you feedback, so please review **

The next day merlin awoke to the unusual experience of a servant opening the curtains.

"Time to get up sir," Thomas was a lot more relaxed this morning it was as if he had turned into a split image of merlin with like to Arthur.

"Good morning, Thomas," merlin said and he surprised himself how much he was sounding like Arthur. Not in his words but his tone. "Oh and by the way, call me merlin."

"Okay, Merlin."

"What have I got today, Tom?"

"A round table meeting in the morning then an afternoon patrol."

"Do you want to come on the patrol?"

"I have to, si… merlin"

"I don't really care what you call me so don't feel obliged to call me merlin, but you don't have to call me sir either."

"Thank you sir."

Merlin got up and Thomas helped him into his chainmail and gave him his freshly polished boots and sword. Merlin was surprised at how light all his stuff was. Whenever he held Arthurs armor he was astounded at its weight. "Thomas, is there something I'm missing this chainmail feels really light?"

"No sir, it's been magically lightened."

"Thank you, Thomas, you can go."

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Merlin remembered something. Percival had told him that Gwain had died from morgana's pet snake. How had he seen him at the pub… maybe he wasn't really dead just in a full body paralysis. So his heart didn't beat. He had to tell Arthur. Maybe he would tell him today at the round table meeting.

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The round table meeting had begun as merlin remembered a long formal speech of which merlin had written many. Merlin wasn't surprised that Arthur was dressed a little better, because everyone knew that merlin was the worst servant in the 5 kingdoms. Then to his surprise Arthur made an announcement. "We have an old friend we thought was dead joining us today at the table. "Surly he didn't mean him. Merlin looked around to see if he could see him. Then Gwain burst through the doors.

"And here he is, everyone welcome sir Gwain back to the round table." Merlin was shocked, who the hell was writing Arthur's speeches because that person needed to be executed. "Also welcome Merlin to his first round table meeting."

Merlin looked around when he got a sharp elbow in the ribs from sir Leon "stand up," Leon whispered to merlin. Reluctantly Merlin stood. With a flash of golden eyes all the candles in the hall were instantly lit. Everyone gasped as the room lit up.

"Thank you Merlin," Arthur said half surprised.

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After the meeting was over merlin was surprised to have Gwain completely ignore him when he spoke to him. _What's wrong with him? _ Merlin thought. There's something more to that story.


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHORS NOTE:** **please review so I know how I can improve on the writing style**

After Merlin had left the hall, he walked down to the stables and expected see his horse. Instead he saw an empty stable where his horse was usually. Then he saw Thomas walking past with his horse, "ah there you are." Merlin was relieved to see that his horse wasn't missing. Thank you Thomas but I'll take it from here you go get your horse.

When Merlin arrived at the courtyard he expected to see Arthur mounting his horse, instead he was told that he was leading his own patrol. This was very weird to him. Gwain, Percival, Leon and Elian were waiting for him in the courtyard. It felt strange to be in charge. When they were riding out the past Thomas and with a simple head gesture he mounted and joined in. Merlin Elian and Percival were talking the whole time. Suddenly merlin heard something. He raised a hand to tell them to stop he used the same gestures that Arthur used then said Thomas with me. They walked slowly and as quietly as possible through the rough scrub then out of nowhere a man jumped out with a sword in his hand without thinking he raised his hand and with a flash of golden eyes the man exploded into a shower of blood. Then when he heard the ring of swords he ran over to the other knights. He raised his staff and their challengers exploded.

The men looked at him astounded as blood dripped down their faces. Then a small boy came out and with a flash of gold eyes the knights flew back and were laying on their backs. " Thank you Emrys, for saving me from these men."

"Come back to Camelot with us, the magic ban is lifted so you'll be welcomed back, we can tend to your wounds." Merlin said caringly to the boy.

"Thank you for your kindness Emrys but I can tend to them myself," the boy said this and ran off.

Percival was the first to stand up did you get the boy, Merlin. There was no need he was scared that you would kill him but he knew I wouldn't. I'm well known to the druids as Emrys. Anyway he was these men's prisoner." With that Merlin walked around to the men and muttered "torte mi elixar," and with a flash of golden eyes the men stood up and mounted their horses. They kept riding and saw nothing the rest of the day. When they returned to Camelot Thomas was waiting, he had fled when he saw merlin kill the men surrounding the knights.

"I'm not angry Thomas but you must trust that I'll protect you okay, because if you do this again I will tell the king and you'll be at his mercy." Merlin said sternly yet Merlin's voice still managed to soothe Thomas's fear. "now come with me I'll need you to clean my armor and cloak, because as you can see it is covered in blood." Thomas and merlin walked into the castle and Arthur was standing in the doorway looking sternly at merlin. _What did I do?_ Merlin was thinking to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

That night like he always did he rode his horse to the lake of Avalon. "Freya," he inquired as he did and within seconds she appeared, walking out of the lake. The two embraced in a hug and a kiss.

"I see Arthur's doing well," Freya said in absolute certainty.

"How do you know that?"

"Well you're still alive."

"Right." Merlin said starting to understand what she meant. "Why can't you come back like Arthur?"

"Because I have no one to remind me who I am, like Arthur did."

"I would," merlin retorted instantly. "Please come back so we can be together. Maybe get married and have kids."

"I would have to talk to the shee to find out if I was able."

"Does that mean that you'll try?"

"Yes, merlin. But don't get your hopes up nothings certain."

Merlin smiled, he couldn't wait for what the coming months would have in store for them. Merlin watched awe as his beloved Freya kissed him and walked back into the lake.

There was a rustle in the bushes behind him. Then Gwain emerged from the bushes. "I always thought that you were gay, merlin." Merlin was shocked when Gwain said that because although he was aware of Gwain's presence he didn't expect him to talk.

"I expect that you saw it all?" merlin inquired.  
"Every last bit," Gwain said, a smile reaching both sides of his face

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Hey I'm not that voyeuristic."

"What ever you say." Merlin gave a sigh a frustration. "Well I'm leaving if you would care to join me sir Gwain."

Together the two friends rode back to Camelot talking about girls. Gwain could only remember that there were a lot because he was always to drunk to remember their names. While merlin simply told Freya's story from him releasing her from the cage to Arthur stabbing her. By the time they reached Camelot it was almost dawn and Gwain had gained a newfound respect for Merlin.

"Arthur's lucky you didn't kill him on the spot" Gwain said only half joking. "See you in the morning."

"see you in the morning," with that merlin walked into his chambers to find a horror struck Thomas standing in his chambers. "I was worried sick," he said, "why were you out so late?"

"I don't think that's any of your business. Now go home and go to sleep." Merlin was furious at this intrusion. Yet it didn't stop him from falling asleep the second his head hit the pillow.


	8. Chapter 8

"I would like to send merlin and a few trusted knights to speak to these people so that we can unite the land of Albion." Arthur said in his majestic voice. Merlin stood still wondering when Arthur was going to execute his speechwriter, he didn't even say who _these people_ were. A few moments later merlin found 10 or so knights all much taller than himself surrounded him.

"Gentlemen I must train you to resist magical threats because even though not all magic is evil it can still be used as a weapon." People started look at him wondering how it was possible to resist magic. "It will be hard so be wary and ready to focus all of your mental power and some of your physical power. So I'll see you gentlemen in a few hours."

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"Welcome gentlemen, I'm going to attack you with a spell and see what you do. Then I'm going to tell you how to guard yourself. Then we'll try again. Form a line." Once the men had formed a line merlin spoke, "ready gentlemen." They nodded in ignorance. Merlin eyes flashed gold and all the men flew back before they could even draw their swords. This is exactly what was expected. "Now gentlemen focus on stability and speak _IL protecte_ do this and you shouldn't get effected by the spell because you'll be shielded. Prepare yourselves." Merlin's eyes flashed and to the surprise of the knights so did theirs and a shield appeared in front of them and they stayed where they were. Merlin's eyes flashed again and 10 fireballs were sent flying towards the men and they did what they were told and again it worked. "Good job gentlemen, take a break and we'll try again."

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The last attempts had taken its toll on the knights, because only 4 came back to give it another chance. Merlin stood in front of them all, "this is the most important. I've enchanted these swords to fight realistically with the right amount of pressure and the right reaction time; you'll fight the swords and then block my random attacks. Ready gentlemen." Yet again they nodded. With a flash of golden eyes the swords raised and started fighting the knights. Then he look at Percival his eyes flashed and Percival stayed standing. He flashed his eyes again and a fireball flew straight for Gwain. He looked at it. Protected himself from the spell but forgot the sword and next thing Gwain knew he was on the ground with the sword at his neck. Merlin flashed his eyes and the sword stabbed into the ground. "Gwain's would be dead right now everyone." With that he flashed his eyes and 2 rows of 3 fireballs flew at Leon, Percival, and Elian. With a loud buzz of words the first row of fireballs deflected, but the second row hit them square in the chest. "Good job boys you did better than expected. You wore me out I'll tell you that." They all looked at Gwain. "Gwain don't drink as much tonight, It may save your life, that goes for all of you." Merlin flashed his eyes gold and a fire ball flew at Percival. He did what he was told but his focus was so strong he stopped it and threw it back at merlin. Merlin held up a hand and caught it, the ball sat there hovering about an inch above his hand. "Well done Percival." He clenched a fist and the ball disappeared.


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHORS NOTE: please review because otherwise I don't know weather its good or bad so please just review.**

Merlin, Arthur and Gwen were sitting around the table having dinner that night. It was quite silent since he told Arthur what he did in training. Arthur was still getting used to the _no ban on sorcery_ thing. Then Gwen said, "When did you go last night?"

"To see an old friend," merlin voice was a little bit shaky.

"Do I know them?"

"Well, sort of."

"_Well_, what do you mean?"

"You might remember her."

"Remember who now?" Merlin could tell that Gwen liked this she had that half teasing half sincere look in her eyes.

"Well, do you remember that girl who was _cursed_ well I was the one that set her free thinking that she was just a druid with a price on her head. I took care of her and she hid in a small alcove under the castle. We fell in love and talked of running away and eloping together. But she was stabbed in her _cursed_ Formby someone who we won't name. And she died. That was Freya, the girl you met in the lake, Arthur. I gave her a burial there in hope that her soul would be saved. I still go back and visit her. But last night I asked her to come back to Camelot and that I could tell her what she'd forgotten. She's speaking the shee, to ask if she can come back."

"Does anyone else know of this merlin?" Arthur said worriedly.

"Just Gwain."

"And he's alright with that?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

There was a moment's silence. "Right, I forgot, no ban on magic."

Merlin sat, astound by his lack of a memory. There was a silence that seemed like it lasted and eternity. Merlin broke it. "Who's writing your speeches now Arthur?"

Arthur looked at him oddly, "my servant."

"Would you prefer me to writer them for you?" merlin suggested, "I have a way with words."

Arthur looked shocked and almost outraged as he contemplated merlin's statement. "Yes, that would be great." Arthur was smiling and after that conversation flowed freely as they talked about training and sport and girls, until they all were tired and retired to their chambers.

Merlin was surprised not to see Thomas at his chambers when he arrived. He left it to he was at the tavern with Gwain and Percival, so he went to bed.


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm coming home." Freya's beautiful hair mesmerized Merlin. But when the words sunk in he wore a smile that was larger than his face.

"Can you come now?" Merlin was desperate for an answer.

"Yes."

Just as he thought his smile couldn't get any wider, It did. Merlin, before he could think, was down on one knee. He held out his hands. His eye's flashed gold and a small flame appeared In his hands. "Freya, oh my dear Freya." A small ring emerged from the flames, "will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Freya looked at merlin in disbelief. Though as she thought about it she saw it coming. But what to do? She looked at merlin his face was starting to sadden. "Yes!" she screamed embracing him in a long hug followed by a long, pleasant snog. "I love you, Merlin."

There was clapping from the bushes. Merlin turned around.  
"Were you followed?" Freya said worried that merlin was lying about he law being lifted in Camelot. Then Gwain emerged from behind the bushes.

"Really?" merlin shook his head, "you followed me again. Can I ever catch a break?"

Gwain smiled.

"Merlin, who's this?" Freya's beautiful long, black hair sat gracefully around her frightened face.

"It's alright its just Gwain." Merlin was a little annoyed that Gwain had followed him again. "Let's go Freya. We have proper introductions on the way."

Their trip back to Camelot though short in the day at night took longer so they decided to make camp and continue in the morning.

Merlin wrapped his arms around Freya. He lit a small fire with a flash of his eyes and a few muttered words. They lay down in front of the fire and went to sleep.

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When the sun rose they awoke with a start. Gwain had been trying to wake them up since he heard rustling in the bushes a few moments earlier.

"Get up merlin. Something's happening."


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